Green Initiatives and Sustainability at Blue-Merle Vineyard

Al Gore (famed inventor of the Internet) and I invented the LCD projector and the hands-free Earset for mobile phones in the 1990s. When I saw his Academy Award winning documentary on the environment, I knew what needed to be done. Here is a partial list of Green Initiatives we've taken at the Blue-Merle Vineyard & Winery:

1) Carbon Offsets. We replaced two acres of weeds with vines. Each vine supplies enough oxygen for one human-being/year. We support the breathing of 1,150 souls across the world -- who otherwise would not have enough to breathe.

2) Eliminating Green House Gases. Carbon dioxide gas is a by-product of the fermentation process. To cut down carbon emissions, instead of releasing CO2 into the air outside, we trap it in our garage through a hole in the ceiling, converting green house gases into harmless garage attic gases.

3) Renewable Resources. The "hair of the dog" contained in every bottle of Blue-Merle wine is a natural, renewable resource (it just keeps growing on Bluey and he just keeps shedding it into the wine during his inspections). We use corks grown by Portuguese trees -- no wasteful, metal screw caps here.

4) No Animal Testing. We don't use rabbits for animal testing of our products. Rather, we let the rabbits gorge on our vines. We do let Bluey (a canine with a keen sense of smell) sniff each wine batch at all production stages. And, when concocting blends, each must pass Bluey's sniff & taste test before bottling.

5) Recycling. Each bottle consumed in house is recycled. (2 household members x 365 days/ year X 1 bottle wine per household member = 730 bottles/year). This initiative has kept at least 730 glass bottles from clogging landfills each year. Our rich neighbors who subscribe to wine shipments from Napa Valley each month give us their used shipping containers to reuse. We compost stems & grape skins (by dumping them in our neighbors' vineyards at midnight).

6) No pesticides. We do not use poisons to control rodents, varmints and gophers. We use "Owl" Gore, occupant of the barn owl box. We do not pour gasoline down gopher holes (that would pollute); nor do we do we flush out gophers with water (that would be wasteful in our draught stricken land). We catch our gophers by hand, mano y mano. If that doesn't work, nearby Camp Pendleton has offered us aerial combat support.

Dear reader, as modern technology has made it possible for you to comment on this blog suggesting to us how to become more green and reduce waste, kindly let us know additional steps we can take to be more responsible citizens.